psychically smacking my new hire with a spoon like “no, don’t work off the clock” “yes, we give you breaks” “no, we aren’t nice for doing this, it’s literally the law” it feels like I’ve adopted a shelter cat
*in the arms of the angels playing softly in the background* with your help, we can give just-out-of-college workers some god damn standards
Person 1: I’ve noticed, in watching some of the tapes on self defense, that a lot of guys like to show…defense from awkward positions. Say sitting in a chair…uh…y'know having your back turned, whatever. So what I’d like to do is, uh, demonstrate a technique which I call “Defense Against……A Guy in a Chair”. [Turns around] Excuse me.
Person 2, sitting: Yes?
Person 1: HUH!!! [kicks person 2, when person 2 falls a bass boosted noise happens]
My aesthetic: when you take off your glasses on a highway and all the lights go soft and smudged, a trail of amber behind you like a quiet afterthought
My aesthetic: keeping my own glasses on so I can see the road and not die
Im so sorry youve been trapped in the passenger seat all these years Yellow.
The “If you were over 6 feet tall and living in Wellington in 2001 you didn’t have a choice my dude” is killing me, like I’m just picturing the LOTR...
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